Most people you'll meet online are exactly who they say they are: single, a bit nervous and hoping to meet someone kind. But it's worth knowing the warning signs, both of scams and of people who simply aren't a good match. This guide covers both.
Scam red flags
Romance scammers are often patient. They may message for weeks before anything feels wrong. These are the signs to take seriously:
1. Any request for money
This is the big one. It might be a medical bill, a plane ticket to visit you, customs fees, a business that's hit trouble or a stranded relative. It might be a small amount at first. Whatever the story, a person you've met online who asks for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or bank details is almost certainly a scammer.
2. A hurry to leave the dating site
Scammers often want to move to WhatsApp, text or email quickly, where there's no moderation and no report button. On Over 60 Love we'll warn you if someone tries to move the conversation to another app.
3. No video calls, ever
A broken camera, a poor connection, a job on an oil rig or overseas posting: there's always a reason. Someone genuine will usually be happy to video call before you meet.
4. Love, very fast
Intense compliments and talk of soulmates within days are designed to lower your guard.
5. Photos that look too polished
Pictures that look like a model's or a magazine's, or a story with details that keep changing, deserve a second look.
If something feels wrong: stop replying, don't send anything, report the profile from within the site and contact our 24/7 support team. If you've already sent money, contact your bank straight away and report it to the police or your national fraud reporting service.
Relationship red flags
Not every warning sign is about scams. Some simply tell you that someone isn't right for you:
- They don't ask about you. Conversation should go both ways.
- They criticise your family or friends, or try to take up all your time.
- They push you to decide quickly, about moving in, meeting family or finances.
- They're still focused on an ex, talking about them at length or with lots of anger.
- They don't respect a no, about a second date, a phone call or anything else.
- They're cagey about basic facts, such as where they live or whether they're really single.
Green flags
It's just as useful to know the good signs: someone who video calls happily, suggests meeting somewhere public, asks questions and remembers the answers, respects your pace, and never mentions money.
How Over 60 Love helps
Members can choose to verify their identity by ID (a blue tick), a live video check or profile validation. Verification is optional, so not every profile has a badge, but it's a useful sign. Photos, videos and text are screened as they're uploaded, automated monitoring looks for suspicious activity, and you can block anyone instantly or report them from within the site. See our safety page for more.
Frequently asked questions
What is the biggest red flag on a dating site?
A request for money, gift cards or bank details. Whatever the reason given, treat it as a scam.
Why do scammers want to leave the dating site?
Because other apps have no moderation or report button. We'll warn you if someone tries to move the conversation to another app.
Should I video call before meeting?
Yes. A short video call confirms that someone is who they say they are, and a genuine person will usually be happy to do one.
What should I do if I've been scammed?
Stop contacting the person, report the profile, contact your bank straight away and report it to the police or your national fraud reporting service.